


A Neverland Christmas

by rocket_diving



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Christmas / Holiday Special, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Neverland Husbands, Panlix - Freeform, Reindeer Deaths
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-25
Updated: 2013-12-25
Packaged: 2018-01-06 03:50:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1102065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rocket_diving/pseuds/rocket_diving
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Holiday Special - Neverland's First Christmas, Starring:  Felix, Rufio, and Peter Pan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Neverland Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> For snefrue!

"You look lost."

The old man gave a start, his hands fussing at the soot stained fur of his red overcoat as he looked up from the map scroll he’d been studying. “Oh, my word! Where did you come from?” The man frowned, squinting hard and adjusting his round spectacles. 

Peter Pan’s mouth turned up in one corner as he grinned slyly. ”I live here.” He peered around the man’s rotund form, staring at the smoking wreckage of the sleigh. ”And it appears your vessel is inoperable.”

The man frowned into his snow white beard. “Nonsense! There are no children on this island. Why, if there were children here, they would have been on my list!”

"Really?" Peter drawled, his grin widening. "Are you sure about that?"

At those words, the Lost Boys slunk out of the shadows of the forest, slowly forming a semi-circle around Peter and the stranger. The nearby reindeer stomped their hooves into the dirt, tossing their antlers and looking to their driver for guidance.

Perturbed but resolute, the old man shook his head, patting at the pockets of his coat before producing a scroll and quill. ”I’ll have to speak with Bernard the second I return to the North Pole. A whole group of children, missing from my list! Unacceptable!” 

The quill flashed with Elf magic as Santa Claus shook out the length of parchment. He stared hard at the Lost Boy, giving a _harrumph_ at the sight of the scarlet tri-hawk and shit-eating grin the closest boy wore. ”Rufio, isn’t it?”

Rufio spread his arms wide and bowed with mock ceremony.

Santa shook his head with distaste, roughly scratching down Rufio’s name on the list, followed by a red ‘x’ as the other boys all laughed. ”Naughty!”

He turned next to Felix, who stood in his customary spot just behind Peter Pan, his club resting on a shoulder. “And you, the tall young man in the back— Naughty as well!”

Felix glowered and uttered what can only be described as a growl as he shifted his stance; the leather handle of his club creaked as he tightened his grip. Santa Claus swallowed hard, his rosy cheeks paling at the unspoken threat.

"I’d be careful about who I referred to as a ‘man’ around here - Kris, is it?" Peter warned with upward tilt of his chin, his arms crossing against his narrow chest.

"Yeah, Jolly Man," Rufio chimed in with glee. "Felix is a little sensitive about his height."

Felix growled again, and Santa was more than a little relieved that it was directed at Rufio this time. ”It’s _Santa Claus_ , my boy,” he corrected Peter shortly, hurrying to get through the rest of the children as the reindeer tugged at their harnesses uneasily once more. “Tootles, Curly… No Nap, Don’t Ask, Too Small… Thud Butt, The Twins… Cubby, Nibs, Slightly… Latchboy, Ace, Pockets…”

Santa shook his head with disbelief, as he stared at each child in turn and then the rest of the Lost Boys he hadn’t gotten to yet. ” **Naughty**! All Naughty!” he exclaimed, marking red ‘x’s next to each of their names.

"You hear that, Boys? It looks like good old Saint Nick," Peter Pan’s eyebrows flashed upward, his eyes wide and dangerous, "Won’t be delivering presents to any of us."

"Definitely not!" Santa Claus huffed, fixing a disapproving look on Pan. "And **you** , Peter Pan, are the Naughtiest of all!” There was an extra-large red ‘x’ placed on the list for Pan.

"Guilty as charged," Peter Pan purred delightedly; there was a mixture of uncomfortable laughter and guffaws as Pan glanced back over a shoulder, directing a smoldering stare at the thin, lanky ‘young man’ behind him. Felix returned the gaze tenfold, and if Santa Claus wasn’t mistaken, the boy murmured back something to Peter Pan about ‘overhand-knots’.

"You should think hard about the things you’ve done this past year," Santa scolded, his cheeks aflame. "Your Naughty acts have earned you nothing but coal this year! You should all be ashamed! You’ll be grown-up soon enough and won’t have earned any presents at all!"

"See, that’s where you’re mistaken, _Kris_ ,” Peter Pan sneered, the atmosphere suddenly taking on a sinister note. ”None of us will ever grow up. That’s the beauty of Neverland. The only grown-ups around here are pirates.”

The reindeer trembled and Santa Claus unconsciously backed up a step as the Lost Boys collectively tightened the semi-circle around them. “E-excuse me?”

Rufio smiled at Peter Pan, before drawing his sword from his belt. “We kill pirates,” he explained, laughter threading each of his words.

"I’m not a _pirate_!” Santa blurted out quickly, “I’m Father Christmas!”

The Boys paused, clutching their weapons and looking to Peter for guidance. Pan tilted his head, still grinning evilly as he nodded to Rufio.

“ **Kill Father Christmas**!!” Rufio shouted.

~*~

**Later That Evening…**

The Boys danced around the bonfire, laughing and whooping as they brandished their new antlers and reindeer-hide cloaks. Ace and Pockets raced their new Power Wheels cars through an obstacle course of discarded Nerf guns, remote control racers, basketballs, stuffed dinosaurs, and piles of action figures, while Rufio obstinately followed No Nap around, trying to convince the older boy to let him try out his new tattoo-gun on the other’s forearm.

From his seat at the base of a nearby tree, Felix absently flipped a new large hunting knife handle-over-hilt at he watched from the shadows. Peter Pan soon came to join him, flopping down gracelessly and tossing Santa’s magical gift-bag on the ground beside him. Felix smiled softly as their eyes met; he scooted closer eagerly and sheathed his blade in one smooth motion. It was late and he had been waiting with more patience than was normal for Peter to join him.

"Happy Christmas, Felix," Pan began in a lilt, his sight flickering between Felix’s heated gaze and the other boy’s mouth. 

Felix shook his head with a breathless laugh, as Peter Pan held up a bit of mistletoe between two fingers and arched a brow invitingly. “How did you manage to crash-land Santa Claus on our island?” he asked as he leaned over Peter, his hand on the other boy’s hip as he pulled him in closer.

Peter Pan snickered, grabbing the front of Felix’s cloak and yanking roughly. “Even magical reindeer can only dodge so many cannon-balls… And Hook is an energetic employee, when you have the right… _motivation_.”

"Out of eyeliner again?"

"Perceptive as always, Felix."

Felix’s derisive laughter at Hook’s grooming habits was swallowed up by Peter Pan, as the Lost Boy’s leader crushed his mouth against his in a wonderfully harsh kiss.

Happy Christmas, indeed!


End file.
